“What is happiness except the simple harmony between a person and the life they live?” ~ Albert Camus
I am sitting on our bed, typing these words, an hour before my first day of being 45 ends.
Around the same time last year, I got the scare of my life when I couldn’t contact and locate Orly for more than 8 hours. That was the time when he was still based in the US for work. I was aware that he was travelling from Seattle to California that night for a business meeting and was expecting him to have landed in California when I woke up the following morning. I checked my phone and it was very unusual not to receive an update from him. I sent him a message, once, twice, thrice, and still no reply. I thought he was just busy in a meeting. By around noontime, it should’ve already been the end of working hours there, so I rang him and still wasn’t reaching him. I must’ve tried calling him a hundred times, and I was getting so worried. I don’t know anyone from his office there but I called the published number on the website anyway, but it was just forwarded to an answering machine. At that point I was already freaking out.
I had the details of his flight, and so I called the airline and asked the lady on the other line to confirm to me that my husband was on the flight and that he landed safely. She got my details and Orly’s details and she has put me on hold. After a few minutes, she came back saying sorry, and that she could not divulge that information for privacy reasons. I begged her, with my lips quivering and my voice cracking, I said “Please, I just want to know that he is safe. If you are a wife, you would understand how I am feeling right now. Please…” I felt that she wanted to help me, and she did put me on hold for another time. After a while, she was back on the line, but again saying sorry as it is really against their company policy to divulge any passenger’s information over the phone. She hung up, leaving me feeling so helpless.
I messaged my siblings, running to them for comfort as I always do. They also didn’t know what to do, but their hint is that Orly might be on his way home to surprise me for my birthday. My boys had suggested the same, but they were also not so convinced of the idea, as we hadn’t even been back from our US vacation for a whole month yet. Well, I guess I still do not know my husband that well after all these years because a few moments later, he was indeed at our front door! I was furious, mad, surprised and happy all at the same time! Yes he is crazy, but God knows that in my heart, his presence – physical presence – the chance to hug him tight was all that I wished for! His flights had been delayed and it messed up all his plans to surprise me – which caused the unnecessary stresses – but all the worries made our reunion even sweeter – no doubt the best birthday gift that I have ever received!
Too many things – unimaginable things – have happened since that day. Orly went back to Seattle after a few days and came back home again in less than a month, just in time before the major Covid travel restrictions; we’ve learned a new way of life; we embraced the new normal which for us means more time spent at home, time spent with each other; the odd working hours for Orly and for me too, as I shifted my hours to accommodate a new project, has been proving to be challenging. But through it all, I’ve found that choosing resilience and gratitude in all that we do helped a lot.
In the past year we’ve celebrated great milestones, welcomed new additions to the family and said goodbye to loved ones who went ahead. There have been a lot of tragic news and we mourn with the nation as we watch how each of these unfold. It has been a reminder of how powerless and small we are. And so with all of what is happening, I strive to choose to still be happy. We cannot control a lot of things, but we are given a choice, each and every single day, and to me that is more than enough – a gift; a privilege that I will always be grateful for.
Today is special and I woke up with the mindful intent of keeping it special for the rest of the day. It is a work day for me and Orly and there were no big plans today. Orly arranged for a special dinner tomorrow to end our work week – well my work week at least and the boys’ as he still has to work the following day – and we are all looking forward to it.
I started my day fixing our bed, which has been a routine for me. A made up bed just sets up the tone for the day. It just tells my mind that task number 1 is done, and that small achievement for the day inspires me to complete the next task, and the next.
I went downstairs, prepared Seth’s breakfast and lunch box, dropped him off at the train station. On that short drive, he asked me what my birthday wish was. I told him that I just wish for all of us to be happy, and find true happiness from within. He gave me a tight hug, and that was my happy morning pill!
Before I headed back home, I dropped by the grocery across the station as I needed some ingredients for what I will cook today. Nothing fancy, just the normal dishes on the weekly menu, but I wanted to cook some birthday noodles to follow a tradition that I grew up with – the long strands of the noodles signifies long life. I was craving for a carrot cake and I found a recipe that I wanted to try, and I though today is a good day to try it. Baking myself a birthday cake for the first time sounds exciting to me. I took my own sweet time at the grocery aisles just the way I like doing my groceries. No rush, no long queues! Happiness!
When I got home, I put down the grocery bags, and before I started any of the chores on my to do list, I went into a room and stood still in meditation for 10 minutes. I set the intention on kindness and compassion for myself and others. It is just surreal what 10 minutes of meditation can do to our day. Happiness!
I then stepped out into the backyard and picked some fresh flowers, arranged them into my favourite vases and lighted my candles in all the areas of the house. Happiness!
First real chore of the day that I planned for was to fold the clothes that Orly washed and dumped on the sofa at the rumpus area. Oh I hate that sight and after I’ve cleared them up and put all the clothes where they should be, it just felt like heaven as it does every single time. Happiness!
I then started cooking the birthday noodles for lunch and started to bake the carrot cake. Both turned out better that I expected, although Keith helped me to finish the frosting as I really suck at it! Cooking and baking done! – Happiness!
I then sat down at my desk to begin work and the during the first zoom call of the day, my colleagues had their birthday greetings up as their video background. A sweet start to what had been a very busy day. To keep me sane, in between zoom meetings, I played with Simba and claimed my birthday cuddles. Happiness!
Orly serenaded me with his acoustic renditions of 2 Carpenters hit songs. His covers have been playing on repeat on my playlist since then. I just fell in love with my husband again. Happiness!
After 9 hours of work, I shut down my pc, ready to celebrate my day with the loves of my life. It was already Orly’s bedtime by then, as he is still following Seattle work hours. He stayed for a little longer until I finished preparing a simple dinner – a quick salmon teriyaki and a side salad. We had dinner together, then I blew the candle on my birthday cake, which by the way, turned out to be very good and moist! I opened the gifts from Orly and boys. Keith got me some lovely coasters and a cake stand, which was his advanced present for me. Seth was planning to get me a rug for the home office to replace the one that Simba chewed on – yet to be delivered. Orly got me a toaster as our old one was broken, and he knows that I really wanted a blue toaster to match my blue mixer. He also got me something that I really, really wanted – a hammock to hang in the backyard, where I can read my book, do my meditation and just relax. I can’t wait to see it installed! Simple stuff that sure spells happiness for me!
Before I retire for the day, as I was reading all the lovely messages sent my way through social media, I received a call from my mom and my dad. To see them strong and healthy is a blessing! A special gift to end my day. Happiness!
It was the most uneventful birthday that I had for years. No party, no out of town trip. Just an ordinary day, doing the usual stuff with people who matter the most. Sitting here on our bed, I am staring at the man beside me who is now deeply asleep. His physical presence in the house and in our lives is a blessing. Having the four of us – or rather the five of us – under one roof, all healthy, is a blessing. We do not have the perfect relationships but we invest time and effort to nourish the relationships that we have under imperfect circumstances! We have so much to be thankful for.
Today, I chose happiness through mindfulness and being present. Today I found happiness from the daily things that I often take for granted. Today, for sure, is one of the happiest birthdays that I’ve ever had.
“We think we can only be happy when our goals are completed, which means life is always about the future rather than the present….. If we can learn how to rest deeply in the present, even if we are facing difficulties, and we can train our minds not to judge, we can discover within ourselves a tremendous source of happiness and satisfaction.” – Gelong Thubten, A Monk’s Guide to Happiness
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