The past few months have been full on. It has been an exhausting journey, physically and emotionally, but exhilarating and fulfilling at the same time. We have nurtured relationships, embraced life’s pleasant and not-so-pleasant surprises, celebrated milestones – and for that, we are truly grateful. To be given wonderful opportunities to grow individually and as a family is such a gift.
My parents visited us from Manila and stayed with us for 7 months. It has been the longest time that I’ve spent with them again under one roof since I got married and left their nest. Living miles away from them since we migrated 6 years now has not been easy. The occasional chats and video calls and getting the updates from social media definitely help bridge the distance but we still long to be beside each other physically. We wanted to share with them the life that we have here and make memories with them as they enjoy their retirement. Seven months had gone really fast, and they went back home 2 weeks ago. I have anticipated the changes in our daily routines once they go back home but I didn’t expect to miss them so much. I remember feeling this way when Orly and I moved to our rented apartment right after our wedding day – that feeling is all coming back. I am on a plane back to Sydney from a week-long business trip as I am writing this, and being away from home just made me feel even worse. I haven’t recovered from the feeling of emptiness and now I am missing my boys and Orly. I just can’t wait for this plane to land and be beside my boys again.
The long wait time in the airport has forced me to slow down from the craziness in my present world. It gave me a few hours to reconnect with myself and process the thoughts and feelings that I have been putting aside because I just can’t find the time to breathe. We have moved houses 2 weeks before my parents went home, and since then our lives haven’t been back to our normal pace. There are still some works that are still in progress – like the driveway, landscaping, skirting, paint touch-ups – and dealing with a number of contractors for these jobs has proved to be nothing but challenging. Our window blinds are yet to be installed and my boys are rejoicing now that the internet and cable connections are up. These are the joys of building a house and moving, and not to mention the huge expenses that go with it, but we cannot complain. We have been blessed and we all are loving our new home!! A few more months of adjustments and getting into the rhythm and we should be fine. I can’t wait to write about the journey of building our own place and share it with all of you, but for now, all I wanted was to give you a glimpse of the beautiful chaos that we are in. Amidst the moving, asthma attack, establishing new routines for each one of us, the terrible feeling of being physically separated from my parents, the high demands of a new project at work, travelling and coming home sick again, I know I have to figure out a way to stay sane. But at this time, I am just absorbed by the fact that I am missing my parents so badly 🙁
Having my parents with us for half a year made a lot of celebrations extra special. Christmas and New Year’s Eve were exceptionally wonderful because not only my parents were here but my brother Neil and his girlfriend Gel also came to visit for 2 weeks. It was such a pleasure to be able to show them around Australia and to just spend quality time with them.
We celebrated birthdays, mother’s day, father’s day, Australia Day with them around.
I’ve lost count of how many beaches we’ve been to for a quick dip or just to spend lazy summer days.
They got to experience some huge celebrations here like the Easter Show, Vivid Sydney and the Winter festival.
One of the highlights of their stay is spending time on out-of-town holidays and camping trips with some of our closest friends here. Those times gave them the opportunity to get to know our friends better and they are truly grateful knowing that we are surrounded by great friends whom we consider as our family here.
For 7 months, my mom went to the market with me every single week and at times I felt that she was still treating me the same way as 18 years ago – as her young, newly-wed daughter who didn’t know how to cook nor how to choose the best produce in the market. We grew up with the luxury of having someone (mostly my Auntie Tess) who helped out with household chores and who prepared the food for us together with my mom, so I would say that I was trained to cook and to mend for myself rather late. Her strong personality is apparent at times, but I really didn’t mind being told how to do stuff and be treated as a kid again. I wouldn’t mind that coming from my mom – my ever-bossy mom! 🙂 I miss her and I know she misses me too and my sister who now leaves in Canada with her family. If you’ll ask me what I am missing the most about her now, it is our bonding time in the market and groceries and our weekday morning ritual in the kitchen where we worked silently side by side, as she prepared our breakfast while I readied the kids’ and Orly’s lunchboxes. Those moments with her are just priceless!
If there is an award for being the most paranoid person on the planet, my dad is the sure winner! He is a certified worrier – worrying about anything and everything. He is the most prayerful person that I know and I’m sure that he offers all his worries up to God, but it is just his personality, I suppose, that puts the unnecessary stress unto himself. That is why I am super proud of what he was able to accomplish amidst all the paranoia. After a few attempts to take the public transport just by themselves, he became comfortable with taking the buses and the trains and was able to lead their commutes to the nearby shopping centres or libraries and back home. He also sometimes went with Keith to his drums and piano lessons and commuted with him. He made sure that his beloved grandson was safe. To keep him busy all those time, we learned together how to make ‘biko’ or rice cake – a Filipino delicacy – and even established a pool of customers who loves and now craves for his ‘biko’!
They have been in every soccer match and even training nights of not just the boys but Orly’s too. I am sure they miss cheering for them as much as the boys miss having their number 1 fans on the sidelines. It’s a shame for them not to be there for the final match but I am sure they will be praying for a great game.
They have been a great help to us and we enjoyed the perks of coming home to a clean house, where dinner is ready and all our laundry and ironing sorted!! We miss the convenience of having them around and now, slowly, we are getting into the rhythm of re-learning and embracing these chores again. We are trying out new ways as we start our life in the new house and community. Being able to spend our first 2 weeks in our new home with them and sharing with them the journey of building a new place made it more memorable. It is such a milestone and the immense joy that they felt for us as we realise one of our dreams is remarkable!
It has been weeks now and I know that I have to move on and be content with our virtual relationship again. The time we’ve spent with them has taught us a lot. They have witnessed the many joys of raising teenage boys, and what I learned is that the environment and the circumstances might be very different now due to technology and exposure to diversed cultures, but some things about raising kids and families never change.
I might have some things that I complain about my kids now, but my parents reminded me that I am very much like and Keith and Seth in some ways when I was a teen myself. My parents have opened my eyes to look back to the past with a different perspective and learn something from it. In a number of occasions I was confronted too by the fact that life is fleeting… it is temporary, and in those instances, in my own little way, I tried to exert some effort to make those moments a little bit more pleasant and special for everyone. Orly often reminded me of how lucky I am to be able to spend such quality time with my parents and I couldn’t agree more – I truly am.
I know, in time, I will get used with them being miles away from us again but I also know that we’ll be reunited soon. For now, I will hold on to the memories of the past 7 months, say a prayer of gratitude each day and put my trust in the Lord to keep them healthy and safe, until we see each other again.
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