Opportunities

The sound of the alarm from my sons’ bedroom woke me up. A few seconds later, Seth was already in our bedroom, with energy level turned to high, waking us up. It is Saturday, and it’s soccer day! All their games for this season were scheduled at 8.00 in the morning so I reckon there is really no chance for sleep-ins for 4 more months!

The boys were playing really well that day. Orly and I were cheering from the sidelines together with all the other parents. There were a lot of moments where we saw a great display of football. Their team has really matured and we are all proud to see the passion they have developed for the sport. About 15 minutes before the game ends, the score was 4-1 in our favour. The referee blew his whistle, Keith was down and was in pain! He rolled his ankle and landed onto it with all his weight. His coach, teammates and the other dads had to carry him out of the pitch and into the car. We brought him straight to the ER and they saw a hairline fracture on his ankle. That explained the severe pain. They had to cast his leg. Icebag, crutches and a limping boy — far from the scene that I woke up to on that beautiful autumn morning. It has been a long day, and all that drama has left the 4 of us exhausted and starving. A drive-thru meal was the most practical available choice for a late lunch.

When we arrived home, I looked at my son, and I am already imagining how hard the next few weeks will be for all of us. Orly insisted that they’ll manage commuting and dismissed my offer to drive them to and from school. I know, at the back of his mind, apart from wanting to take advantage of this chance to teach his first-born how to be strong amidst the unlucky circumstances, he is trying to shield me too from all the hassle of changing the daily routine of an already busy full-time working mum. I gave in to his suggestion, trusting that he knows Keith’s physical capabilities better than I do. He will take the train in the mornings with the boys, just as he always does. He will carry Keith’s heavy schoolbag and then walk them to the school gate. But it didn’t turn out as planned. Before getting off the train, some of their schoolmates on the same carriage saw Keith and his crutches, and the curious boys asked him about what happened. My young teenager might have been too shy to let them see him, walking – or rather limping – to school, with his dad carrying his bag. I can just imagine that it might have looked so uncool and awkward in his teenage world! So Keith told his dad to just go straight to his office and that he’ll manage, volunteering his poor brother to help him with his bag. Orly without much choice, agreed and allowed the boys go on their own. The usual 5-minute walk from the train station to the school took forever. As soon as they reached the school, Keith sent me a text message, “Can u drop me off tomorrow?“.

As soon as I read that message, I knew I was right all along. I knew that it will be too difficult for him and that I should have insisted more to drop him off and followed my instinct. I also knew that by ‘tomorrow‘ he really means ‘until I get rid of these crutches’. I knew I will find ways to be there for my son every single day until he can manage on his own again. I just didn’t know at that point how. It will be difficult, but I am happy and willing to take that challenge. Ironic as it may seem, but that message from Keith made me smile. Knowing that my teenage son still needs me and is somehow depending on me to save him from this daily agony satisfies a mother’s longing for attention from an already grown up boy who is slowly slipping away in his quest for independence. I just knew from that moment that there’s so much opportunity hidden behind this ill-fated state that we are in, and that we just have to find and grab them!

‘Tomorrow‘ came. I woke up an hour before my usual waking time, prepared breakfast, packed lunches, dressed up for work while the boys are having their breakfast. By 7am, we were on the road to the city. Orly drove while I ate my breakfast and put on my make-up. Music, chatting, quiet time, catching up, power nap, debating, Seth annoying Keith, giggling, Keith annoying Seth… It has been 2 weeks now, and we are all into the routine. Seth is happy with not having to take the train and one morning he uttered, ‘I like this, we get to spend more time together!’ Well, it is good that he uncovered one of those hidden opportunities early! 🙂

Travelling back alone in rush hour traffic can be a pain, so I made sure I am equipped. Thanks to the brilliant idea of my colleagues at work, I downloaded some audio books on my phone, turned the car bluetooth on, listened and filled my mind with some food for the soul. In days when traffic was not so bad, I gave in to the temptation to pull over for a good coffee-on-the-go. I am just so pleased to somehow manage to find my ‘me’ time amidst the seemingly undesirable road.

The afternoon pick-ups are more challenging but I managed to make some arrangements at work that somehow allowed us to survive the past 2 weeks. On our trips back home, I made sure that I am present for my kids, all ears, as they update me of their day’s highlights. I bring whatever we have from the pantry for my growing boys to snack on and on days when they bragged about some good comments that their teachers wrote on their diaries, I treat them to some sinful snacks from McDonald’s drive-thru (and I got some extra hugs and kisses for doing that!). Twice a week, Seth stayed late for choir. During those days I get to bond with Keith.

Keith is now 14, and as with most teenagers, his long, detailed stories when he was younger were all gone. He’ll throw a one-line (or worse, a one-word) response if you ask him something, and you have to ask another question if you want to hear more of his voice again. There were still not much words during our afternoon trips, but I notice that he is more open and more relaxed to share his stories when we are not facing each other. He told me about the good comments he got 2 days in a row from his English teacher. He shared that he did well on his Maths test, but he didn’t understand some concepts on fibre optics and that he plans to get his dad to explain it to him. I feel so much joy when he took my hand while stuck in the traffic, and squeezed it 3 times. That, I guess, is how teens these days say ‘thank you mum!’. I squeezed his hand back 3 times too in those instances. That is how a mum of a teenage boy says ‘You’re welcome son!” – Took us both no time to decipher our new language of love.

It is physically draining, I must admit, to spend almost 3 hours on the road each day, juggling work with the daily demands of family and home, but I am savouring every moment of being able to respond to the needs of my kids. Keith’s ‘tomorrow‘, viewed in a different light, has opened a lot of windows of opportunities for us, and I am grateful. We just need to wake up each day with the intent to find goodness, and you will be amazed to see everything that is beautiful.