Walking through life together

I consider myself as introverted by nature. Some people who have met me might question this statement, but those who truly know me would agree. In a number of occasions, I can be anti-social, and would prefer to spend the weekends lost in the beauty of nature or to stay at home on a Friday night with a good book or a movie in a comfy couch, snuggling up with my boys, than to be out, partying with people who are not very familiar. I can survive a conversation with a stranger or a new colleague. I can even start one, and might even share a bit about myself, but that would mean stretching my boundaries, leaving me drained instead of being energised by the interaction. If I do not find the connection, one will surely know. You will either see me make my quick escape or hide back into my shell and shift into my silent mode. But once I feel at ease, I slowly break my walls, and bare my true self, with no pretense nor sham – offering nothing less than true friendship.

Social media has helped me open myself up to more people who invited or accepted me into their ‘virtual’ lives. Through these platforms and this memoir blog, I am able to express myself in ways that might not be possible face-to-face. In these platforms too, we get to categorise our ‘virtual friends’ which somehow depicts what happens in real life. We can choose what we want to see and decide what part of our being we want to share and who to share it with. Today I have 869 Facebook friends. That makes me feel good but that number will never be close enough to the number of few, deep friendships that I have been blessed with through the years. When we moved here, one of my fears is not being able to make new friends, but it took us no time to build new relationships here, and we are blessed to have each one of them in our lives now. When I broke the news that we were migrating to my closest circle of friends back home, they had only the best wishes for us. They reminded me that our friendship is forever and that they ‘are not going anywhere’ – ‘Nandito lang kme kapatid!’. I did hold on to that promise – something that I will treasure in this lifetime.

The past week, I was privileged to co-host one of my friends from that circle, during her short visit here in Sydney. We were schoolmates from primary until we graduated high school. After more than 30 years of friendship, I never thought that we could still reach a deeper level of understanding, connection and mutual respect for one another. During those days of touring Che around Sydney, we were joined by a dear friend, a lovely Sydneysider Jhennie, who also hosted Che in most her stay. She is our common friend from the same school, and one of those people who warmly welcomed us here when we first landed 5 years ago.

We did a LOT of walking along the scenic shoreline of Bondi to Clovelly, up the Blue Mountains and, figuratively, down memory lane, laughing about how silly we were then as teenagers. We celebrated our happy childhood by remembering its highs and lows, and how each mistake and each fall made us stronger. The topics of our conversations were a bit different now. We shared tips on what hair colour will best hide our grey hair, how to shape our eyebrows to make us look younger, how to eat and live healthier. We surely have aged and matured physically, which was evident in the number of stops we had to take climbing uphill. We were trying to manage it as gracefully as we could, but deep within us, we still felt the same. We are still the same younger version of us. We filled each other up with relevant details that the others have missed when we were all busy living life apart. Each adventure is different, but they moulded us to be the person that we are today. What I love most from our conversations was the realisation that we are all in a journey – a journey that we often take for granted. Somehow, in those few days that we spent together, it gave us time to reflect on how bumpy yet beautiful the road has been, and how promising the future is. Sometimes, we just need to open up our hearts and minds, verbalise our thoughts, our triumphs, fears and hopes, and new perspectives come to life. I realised that all of us are in a silent pursuit of direction and meaning, and we ended up standing on one spot, entertaining a vision of new beginnings, and determined to put one foot ahead to continue on the journey.

Before Che went back to Manila, we had a mini-reunion, where we were joined by another dear friend from our group, Lei, who was visiting her family here in Sydney that week, and I am just overjoyed to see her again and was delighted to hear her little successes in her own journey. On that same gathering, we also welcomed another batchmate who recently migrated here with her husband and 4-year old daughter from Dubai. Eloisa is my seatmate in senior high, and this was the first time we saw each other in almost 2 decades! 5 very different stories, 5 different roads, all faced courageously, all with hopeful desires, all looking forward. It was a night of reminiscing, laughter and friendship, shared with our families. A night that we will all cherish.

Friendship is not defined by the physical distance nor the amount of time you spend together. It is measured by the joy that you feel in seeing and hugging each other for the first time after a long while… by how genuine your laughter is, up to the point of shedding happy tears just because of a funny story that you’ve already heard a million times… by how much you don’t care to be yourself without the fear of being judged because you are confident that you are loved no matter what; by being selfless in giving, as much as being humble in receiving… by looking back to what has been, but this time, with better set of eyes, and looking ahead with a great sense of courage. True friendships always hope and pray for a future of love, happiness and contentment of one another.

All of us are back on our own busy lives now. Che and Lei are back in Manila, Jhennie and Eloisa are just like me – back to juggling work and the demands of being a mum and a wife, while trying to squeeze some time to take care of ourselves, trying to stay sane in this crazy yet fulfilling stage of raising kids. I am continuously battling with the very cold winter days, trying my best to stay productive and focused after being shaken by changes of management in the office yet again, while Orly starts on his new job. Yes, we are all back to our ordinary days, but I feel something different. There is a longing in my heart that has been filled, something warms my heart and I am certain that it comes from the comfort of knowing and being reminded that somewhere in this universe, under the same sky, there exist a few good souls that I call friends, and we are travelling through life together – a blessing that we should keep and be grateful for as we sail on.